Tag Archives: #beingabetterman

Every Day Should be ANZAC Day

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I wonder how many of us went to the dawn service and commemorated the spirit of our ANZACs and today go about our business somehow not remembering what brought a tear yesterday at dawn. Can we still remember and live the feelings we had, the pride, the respect and the some how feeling part of a community greater than ourselves.

Well, every ANZAC Day I think about these things.

What’s more I think about them most days. When I see the petty squabbling in day to day life; when I hear our politicians speak; when I see big business take from the needy; when I hear the media (the Merchants of Misery) create and ignore news; when I see someone struggling and needing help that would cost most of us almost nothing.

I think about the spirit of the ANACS everyday and a few years ago sat down and wrote the following.

I really hope that in the morning and the going down of the sun you will always remember what it really means to celebrate and more importantly live the spirit of the ANZACs.

Why can’t every day be ANZAC Day

Bravery would be commonplace
Loyalty would be volunteered
We would fight for those
who could not fight for themselves

We would love our country

We are just glad to be alive – today

You carry everything we own
We write each other letters
Good fun, is just good fun
Our leaders lead
and we follow

Coming home is the most important thing
We volunteer
Sacrifice is given gladly
Life is short, often horrific
but we face it with our mates
and we all stand fast

Heroes; really are heroes
We don’t do things to be remembered
Medals are earned
often with our lives

And probably most of all
every sunrise, and
every sunset
We would remember those that have fallen
and
every day
We would live our lives to honour the values
That we have fought and died for

 I wish everyday was ANZAC Day

The Gift of a Day

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I was looking in the book shelf the other day to find something to read….  okay I know you are thinking I am looking for a book to read on the toilet….  WRONG!   Let me assure you I do not read books on the toilet – everyone knows that toilet time is YouTube time!

Anyway I was standing there completely underwhelmed by the majority of the books which were mainly self help books (Note to self:  Write a self help book about finding self help books in your bookshelf!) when I saw a little book called “The Ultimate Gift.”  Well I actually saw two copies of it and wondered why I would have two?  So curiosity got the best of me and I had a little read…

Without destroying the very basic plot of this self help book which is written as a story so that you don’t feel as if you are being preached at because the loser in the book is fictional and not a complete representation of you and your life……  there basically is no plot.

There is however, a very interesting chapter called:

The Gift of a Day
Life at its essence boils down to one day at a time – today is the day.

Pretty profound beginning to the chapter (you have to have snappy headings when you have no plot… it really needed pictures as well!).  In essence our hero was telling a young lad about his idea of “The Gift of a Day” which he summed up as:

“When you face your own mortality you contemplate how much of your life you have lived versus how much you have left.  I know at some point I will live the last day of my life.  I have been thinking about how I would want to live that day and what I would do if I had only one day left to live.  I have come to realise that if I can get a picture in my mind of maximising one day, I have mastered the essence of living because life is nothing more than a series of days.”

Well, I have faced my own mortality just recently so this sentence rang a bit of a cord with me.  Not that I haven’t contemplated that one inevitability in life, that being death, a few times in the past.

I have thought about our time here being the only commodity (click here to read “Better with the Only Commodity”) or what would we do if we actually got a real taste of death and how that would effect how we would then live (click here to read Better at “Wishing You Were Dead”)….  but, this little story today, and that one chapter seems so obvious yet so universally ignored and forgotten about.

I know we all wander into this life with an unknown amount of life.  We get to spend our time (the only real commodity) any way we wish to.  Some may spend it quickly and buy all the big ticket items and live like a rock star (especially rock stars)…. and others may spend frugally and find that all their savings can’t be cashed in when they are needed.

I actually thought ‘that day’ had arrived a few weeks ago.  I didn’t get to spend it how I planned – actually as there was no time to plan and the day was thundering ahead towards my demise and I wasn’t thinking about my bucket list, I was only thinking about the kicking of that bucket I appeared to be about to take….

It would appear that death didn’t always come a knocking and say “Hey you better get your shit together because you need to get a couple of perfect days under your belt before I come swinging with my sythe!”

As it turned out death wasn’t something I was fearing, I have my beliefs, and they sit well with me.  If you have watched the movie Crocodile Dundee you will understand my take on the after life as being a bit like Mick Dundee when he is asked if he believes in God and he replies “I reckon we’d be mates.”

It wasn’t my fear of dying, it was my fear of not living that worried me.  I didn’t get to plan my last day and there was still some shit I had to do.  So, I now have the time to do it…. but, life gets in the way… and unfortunately it appears to be getting back to normal… important shit is happening everywhere and my days are getting full again… I just don’t have time to die there isn’t a gap in my schedule.

And as I wrote not long after ‘surviving’ when my main priority in life being filling out forms:

Afterglow of tragedy,
Fades in direct comparison to the minute by minute
Requirement to deal with the mundane

I realised that my almost death was not that important, or after a few days, probably wouldn’t even be noticed.  I realised that I had a bit more life to live because I realised that the gift of a day, is everyday.

“DING”

I lost the moment of the profound life
When mine almost ended
And it was not profound.

I saw it,
My friends and family saw it
Not only in my life,
But in their own.

It is not a sad moment
But a lonely one.
At the moment where you almost sleep
For eternity
You wake
To the booming sound of nothing.

And your muses are silent
And the profound extension of your existence lost
You are nothing

Your achievements and possessions dust
Your struggles but the small ding of the triangle
At the back of the orchestra,

                            Unheard.

 

 

Russell Brands’ 12 Steps

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In my last post I spoke about Russell Brands’ new book – “Freedom From Our Addictions” (Link here for it on Amazon Australia)…

Russell in this book describes his own version of the Alcoholic Anonymous 12 Steps Program and uses it in everyday life to overcome all his problems. He speaks interestingly about how many of our ‘addictions’ are the way we behave.

For me personally this has been my ‘Scorpion Attitude’ towards others, especially those close to me and I am supposed to love and protect. I describe the story of the Scorpion and the Frog in a previous blog you can read by clicking here if you don’t know it.

It always meant for me that it was in my nature to sting others and I used this as an excuse – along with a few work related stress, anxiety and depression issues which invaded my life and head. All really were just excuses to justify sometimes pretty damaging behaviour. See, I did it then – lessening my involvement – thinking back most time… make that all the time I let the scorpion win it WAS damaging behaviour!

Well, after reading Russells’ book and a bit of soul searching I realised the 12 Steps as described by him can work in a lot of life’s challenges.

I have set them out below alongside the original AA 12 Steps Program – but I must CAUTION here that Russell like me has a tendency for, well, COLOURFULL LANGUAGE.

I hope this may help you on your trek in life…. the hardest step is always the first one….. and this is no different.

AA 12 Steps Russell Brand 12 Steps
We admitted we were powerless over
alcohol—that our lives had become
unmanageable. 		1Are you fucked?
Came to believe that a Power greater
than ourselves could restore us to sanity. 		2Could you not be fucked?
Made a decision to turn our will and our
lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.		3Are you, on your own, going to “unfuck” yourself?
Made a searching and fearless moral
inventory of ourselves.		4Write down all the things that are fucking you up or have ever fucked you up and don’t lie, or leave anything out.
Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to
another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.		5Honestly tell someone trustworthy about how fucked you
are.
Were entirely ready to have God remove
all these defects of character.		6Well that’s revealed a lot of fucked up patterns. Do you
want to stop it? Seriously?
Humbly asked Him to remove our
shortcomings.		7Are you willing to live in a new way that’s not all about you
and your previous, fucked up stuff? You have to.
Made a list of all persons we had harmed,and became willing to make amends to
them all.		8Prepare to apologize to everyone for everything affected by your being so fucked up.
Made direct amends to such people
wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others. 		9Now apologize. Unless that
would make things worse.
Continued to take personal inventory and
when we were wrong promptly admitted it. 		10Watch out for fucked up
thinking and behaviour and
be honest when it happens.
Sought through prayer and meditation to
improve our conscious contact with God  as we understood Him, praying only for
knowledge of His will for us and the
power to carry that out.  		11Stay connected to your new
perspective.
Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs  12 Look at life less selfishly, be
nice to everyone, help people if you can.

Mindfulness Meditation

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Just a very quick post to say you may wish to try it!

Meditation that is.

If you’re not a believer I’ll just let you know a few people who regularly meditate, do not wear orange robes or live on a mountain:

  • Richard Branson
  • Bill Gates
  • Katy Perry
  • Hugh Jackman
  • Clint Eastwood
  • and the list goes on if you click here to a full list of famous people who meditate

I just pulled a couple of names above as examples that it’s not just for hippies and Buddhist Monks….

I started off using an App on my phone which has this wonderful female voice with just a hint of a Scottish accent to guide you through meditations from 3 minutes to custom settings as long as you want – it also keeps track of your progress, over the days, months, years.

Yeah, of course there are ‘In-App Purchases’ but I don’t do that!

You can find the App I use or have a look for something that suits for you and your phone or tablet platform (e.g Mac or Android).

The App I use is on the left in the photo – and yes I know I have a few updates to process.

The type of meditation in the App is what is known as ‘mindfulness meditation’ which has no religious connotations and in really about concentration.

This app is good in the explanation of starting and going through the meditation and you get to listen to that lovely Scottish accent. I do use it for relaxation but also use it to get my mind a bit centred and stop all those random thoughts bouncing around against each other in my head.

I did a quick consultation with Dr Google and found this definition of mindfulness and mindfulness meditation – I am not sure if it explains it or makes it more confusing (I’ll have to meditate on that one):

Nowadays, mindfulness and meditation are often used to mean the same thing, which can be confusing, while not many are clear on what ‘mindfulness meditation‘ is and how it differs from either of the above. … “Mindfulness is theawareness that arises when we non-judgmentally pay attention in the present moment.

I sort of love the above definition because I once said to someone “Mindfulness changes nothing and everything” and they agreed.

I am not sure if you meditate with a simple App like the one above will take you on a new path to spirituality, but I am sure it can’t hurt to give it a try – just remember Clint Eastwood meditates – so give it a try and let me know how you go.

“Go ahead make my day”……


Russell Brand – “Signs”

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I have just finished reading Russell Brand’s book “Recovery – Freedom from Addiction”.

Yeah, I have a few addictions as most of us do…. food, TV, Social Media etc etc etc

What Russell does in this book is uses the 12 Steps Program of Alcoholics Anonymous to tackle most of life’s problems – particularly the ones which are making our lives unmanageable…. e.g. drinking, gambling, being a shit partner in a relationship.

I will let you decide if this is workable for you or not – just buy the book. Try Amazon (the Aussie site) as it is pretty cheap and mine arrived in a couple of days – I still think shopping on line is a bit like magic.

Anyway, the point of this brief post is to say one of the things Russell looks for in his life of 12 years sober, off the drugs and off the chicks is ‘signs’. The often difficult part of the 12 steps program for your average skeptic is the ‘God’ part. This is fantastically addressed in the book – bloody hell I should be getting so sort of kick back for this but I am not. I am a great believer in ‘signs’ in our lives but I’m more of a follow your intuition, follow your gut type guy as opposed to the burning bush – who knows they may come from the same sourse.

So, the point is the other day a mate was having a few hiccups in hospital and struggling so I paid him a visit and we had a chat about dialectic thinking (just thought I’s chuck that one in to confuse you and now I can’t remember if I have ever written a post on it – note to self, check if I have, if not write one – also you might want to try Dr Google on that one!)…..

…. I then went to a local football Club in Adelaide (I will name it – Kenilworth!) where a mate had raised a heap of money and the new Club rooms were open…. it’s the old Panther Park at St Mary’s I think, but if you’re around check it out. Love seeing my mate and the tour of the fantastic new Club rooms…. a lot of how are ya mates and quick introductions and even a snag and a piece of bread – actually the perfect end to the day and I reckon I had a few ‘signs’ to say I was doing the right thing. Thanks Universe, God, etc etc whatever you’re flavour is…..

I then get an intro to a bloke; we have a moment ….. not in a gay way and not that if it was there would be anything wrong with that…. but, we then had that laugh at the same time when we realised we knew each other. Yeah, the catch was we hadn’t seen each other for 35 years.

This blokes name is Alan Stringer who was a Glenelg footballer back in the day. Married to a mates sister and a few cans we had in our early 20’s.

We sat and chatted and my jaw dropped. We had the same struggles and it was like he was talking about my life.

There is a pod cast with Graham Cornes which is worth every minute of the time you take to listen to a man that went into the dark places and came out the other side – yep, there was damage and he owns it. Click here for the link to the pod cast.

Alan is now helping other footballers who are tackling the ‘black dog’ and the Advertiser did an article on it. Click here for the link were you don’t have to subscribe – it is via Twitter so just click on the article.

So, time to finish this post which is really about ‘signs’ – and most of all as it turns out connection to an old mate, who fought his demons and not only won, but is helping others. We exchanged numbers and had another sausage and bread and knew that fate, the Buddha etc etc etc etc may have just aligned the universe for us to meet up.

I know one thing: that is just what I needed that day.

I need to sit and have a think…. maybe Russell is not only funny as anything but may have just pointed me in the right direction in a lot of ways.

There might be 12 Steps, but I think at a local footy Club the Universe pushed me forward on my first couple.

A Good Man: Takes Responsibility for His Actions

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Yesterdays blog was about forgetting the ‘better man project’ and just being a good man – everyday.

Everyday is a long time – it is now and it is always.

You can’t have a bad day as a good man and hurt people and then say sorry and think it will be okay. Saying sorry is a good start but that taking responsibility for your actions is the actual action that you need to take.

I remember when we were all saying sorry for something we didn’t think we were responsible for… I always used the analogy of having a cold….

“Sorry you feel bad with your cold” – as opposed to…

“I apologise you have a cold” – but it’s not my fault so why apologise.

An apology is taking responsibility for your actions – “sorry about that” is all very nice and really has no answer, or complaint, but is it taking responsibility – I vote no.

I want to be a good man and take responsibility for my actions on a daily basis. But, there is a catch. Apologise freely, or better still stop and don’t do that thing that I might have to apologise for in the first place – that is the good man.

The good man today does not wipe out the not so good man of yesterday. It does also not wipe out all the ‘sorries’ when there should have been ‘apologies.’

In thinking about this, I wondered is is all that apologising and saying sorry really doing anything – is anyone really any better for it?

The answer that continued to boom through my head was ‘Yes”.

Not that long ago I was contacted by someone that I had wronged a long time ago – for all those years I put it down to good old youthful exuberance. They told me what I had done had hurt them for years and it was a horrible time in their life. I said sorry… I hope I apologised. But, most of all I realised that neither of these things seemed enough. I dont know what to do to make up for this wrong – but, I do know the universe will tell me when that time is and I will have to pay the piper – and I will pay him gladly.

Taking responsibility for your actions can be a hard pill to swallow – you can choke on it and it may kill you. It may kill the construct of the person you thought you were – it may kill your ego. These are things we don’t risk in our modern dog eat dog life.

But, and there is always a but….

In my ‘Dr Google’ research I came across something interesting in all my searches about taking responsibility for your actions… and it was in the Alcoholic’s Anonymous 12 steps program… (these are a few of the 12 and in actual order but with a few edited out – do a search and next time you may be kinder to someone who you think is, or is, an alcoholic – they are undertaking something much harder than any pretend better man project…)

  1. Admit to God, to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.
  2. Make a list of persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.
  3. Make direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

So, the battling drunk up the street may just be a good man (or woman) trying to undertake the recompense for a life not so well led. … and if you want to baulk at the God bit, just think about editing that out instead of trashing the entire sentence – perhaps it is easier to not get passed the ‘God bit’ because you then can avoid the ‘ourselves’ bit.

When you think about their list it can be overwhelming – when you think about your list it may be a surprise – when I think about my list, especially those closest to me, it is staggering.

I am following the 12 steps and it may not be God even to me, but the Universe is always watching – it is where we came from and where we will go back to. Remember there may be one molecule in your body that was once the heart of a star – and that is a legacy that deserves recognition and somehow, somewhere, a sense of awe!

I want each day to not be about being the better man sometime in the future and to hell with my past in getting there, well getting there tomorrow.

I want want each day to be about me being a good man and acknowledging that yesterday has a whole lot of responsibilities that I have to also take responsibility for and when I can ‘I apologise’ and do what I can to make amends.

Some days this may sting, but often the acknowledgement takes no more than will and acceptance … and that may not be pretty.

I have been a good man today and I accept all the responsibilities for my wrongs of all the yesterdays to here… I will be a good man tomorrow and make amends where I can.

Bye the way – I do not think this is a task, I think it is a privilege – because we, I, am still here to do it.

Being a Good Man

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Well this is a realisation.

The ‘better man project’ is a myth.

Each day I have convinced myself that I am on the path to being a better man; yet that day of fulfilment is always in the future – I will be a little bit better today and a little bit better tomorrow etc etc etc – well etc, ad infinitum until you get to the point that you convince yourself that each little ‘better bit’ will lead to some unattainable position of better – but of course after that you can always be a little better.

… and of course because in you, in your idea of where you are going and what you are doing is the problem that each little bit of better you disguise to yourself as deserving some credit and acknowledgement for the effort – irrespective of the outcome – which overall may not be better…

Today, the only day I have and the only day I am living – actually I am only living this actual moment right now…. I need, now, to be a good man.

I can plan to be better tomorrow which always provides the excuse of not being the good man today, now, in this moment.

It is a big realisation that the construct of my personality that I have created – as in ‘this is me’ is in actual fact a construct of something I will be tomorrow – in that I will be better tomorrow so it is okay to not be so ‘better’ today.

It is easy to be a better man tomorrow – it is hard to be a good man right now, especially when things are not going well, or you are hurting or …. well there are 1000 reasons why we tell ourselves it is okay to behave in a certain way today because tomorrow….?

It is a little difficult to change an entire blog to ‘Being a Good Man (Now)’, but labels are often just there so that we can feel our place – URL’s are just there so we can find a web page – and so often that is a place we have created so that we can feel empowered.

As with all things I decided to seek ‘Dr Google’ to advise me of the characteristics of a good man… there were a lot of URL’s that got a hit – actually 600,000,000! I think, and feel, that what defines a good man must come from within – and with perhaps a little help from the universe; so I will thank Dr Google for its 600 million ideas and define my good man characteristics from my heart, my mind, my soul, my universe and hopefully when the next search for ‘define a good man’ ends up on someones desk top they too can find it themselves and define themselves as a good man from within – because, after all that is really where the good man emerges from or hides.

So, I think the better man project has taken a paradigm shift – I will always try and be better tomorrow, it is hopefully the nature of all of us – but today, this day, this moment, now, I will be a good man.

A good man is:

  1. Honest

Better ….. the best Daughters

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Don’t know if I mentioned I almost died from an aneurysm a few days before Christmas….

If I had have died imagine how that would have stuffed up Christmases for the entire family for…. well, forever….  What a terrible day that would have been “Oh, here’s the new blouse you wanted, and oh yeah, this is the day Dad died!”    Horrible!

I know I am going to die before my daughters.  Well that is what all parents wish and I can’t imagine otherwise….  I have a mate who’s 24 year old son recently died from cancer….  the world will never be the same again and most definitely never seem fair.

….. and I must digress here …. by saying that friends do not show up when it’s convenient or easy but they are just there when it is hard….  I am trying to do that for my mate above.

So I spent a few days in hospital, well actually three weeks, and although it wasn’t exactly a piece of cake for me, I know it was hard, maybe more so (as I was zonked out on oxy most of the time – the only time I ever had access to that many drugs was after midnight down Hindley Street talking to a bloke called Guido!), for my friends, family, wife and daughters.

I can’t thank my wife enough…. but that is another blog and probably a bit more between me and her.  A lot of the people I have to thank have received a little special thank you in the post – well maybe not yet as the old mail with a pen and paper really is as slow as a snail.  I often ask myself why I still write letters and send cards – but then again I did have a brain aneurysm so talking to myself has become somewhat the norm – and I agree!

My little blog today is also not about my friends  – who many fulfilled the above little saying of being there when it was hard.  … and a lot were smart enough to not be there and fill my hospital room, read my magazines and steal my chocolates….  but called later when the dust settled and I could actually remember them either being there or talking to me!

My daughters…  the ones that I thought I was here to protect, suddenly were there
protecting me, holding me up, making me proud of the young women they had become… so one night I wrote the following:

My Daughters

When I was on the edge of life,
When I wavered,
When I was scared,
When I feared for the future,

 Angels appeared,
… and they were my Daughters.

They lifted me up,
They led me back,
I am alive, and I am grateful.

 My daughters,
… such strength
… and grace
… such unconditional love.

Their gift of my life,
I am humbled and proud.
Thank You.

… and more so, I am grateful that I am here to write this and tell them in person, everyday.

Better Happiness

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Happiness is a very interesting concept.  Once you ask yourself if you are happy you cease to be so…  Plus, if you were actually happy why would you do anything that could endanger that – it would be silly!

Just lately I have been chatting to people and attempting to gauge their ‘happiness.’   I never ask them in case they are happy and as above, by asking them they would cease to be happy…  I think?

A lot of the people I note are very busy.  They have stuff to do and places to go, and this and that needs to be done,  usually yesterday and of course there is always a meeting that can’t be missed and they have to rush to…  (you may be interested in reading my guide to meetings by clicking here – remember any good meeting is a great alternative to actually working!).

I was writing something else the other day in another place (do you know how expensive spray cans are these days!) and it goes like this….

”  … life goes on; it tumbles down a hill without thought or
often reason and we ride the avalanche of information, obligation and need;  but wait, stop and you see all the scenery that was racing past and you get to watch it for a moment;  You flail your arms and grab at moments going by.  You stumble, roll and fall but bounce right back up again and continue at a greater pace.  You realise the endless movement is not necessarily progress and the deafening noise is all in your head;  after all it is not the ground giving way under you….  the never ending momentum that you are caught up in is because you are actually running.”

Perhaps, happiness is those fleeting moments, a grab at the passing scenery, a flash of beautiful colour out the corner of your eye.  And, perhaps if you do it often enough and find that running is actually fun as well, then happiness is already here – its just that you have to notice and appreciate it for what it is.

… and finally if you are doing so much running it is nice to be actually going somewhere and be looking forward to a destination …

 

 

Better Community – The Riverland War

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War, what is it good for … well let’s think about that for a moment…

I live in a great community.

Peaceful, beautiful scenery, no traffic, a sense of history, wonderful country people working together to make the place better and more….. um…. let’s just think about that list for a minute….

The Riverland is the place I am talking about and ‘working together’ is a wonderful thought but perhaps a myth….?

I have spoken to people who have not spoken to people for 30 years because one punched the other in the guts behind the lunch shed at recess time …. or my Dad hated your Dad so I hate you … or you live in another town so I was born to hate you … …

I think the only towns this doesn’t apply to are the ‘Switzerland’ towns like Monash or Glossop which fall into neutral territory.  Well you may be from neutral territory until you sign up for a sports team when your parents take you to practice for the first time when you are 11 then you give up your Switzerland citizenship and become a naturalised citizen of your new country – but not really because you weren’t born there… and that is everything.

These ‘countries’ are of course for life, your citizenship is for life and loyalty is everything.

We, us Riverlanders are constantly at war, north, south, east, west and of course those ones from across the river!

I propose a solution.

We have a war, a real war.  Wars settle long held grudges and everybody gets along afterwards e.g. 2 World Wars and now we love German cars and engineering plus the Japanese make all our electronics and we have their words tattooed on our bodies, that old chestnut the Vietnam ‘police action’ and now they are some of our most valued citizens are Vietnamese and it is our recent most popular tourist destination – bloody hell our current South Australian Governor Hieu Van Le was born in Vietnam!

Plus wars encourage inovation, get the factories going making guns and other stuff to kill each other, wars get rid of troublesome young people (you know the ones, those entitled brats who are always on their cell phones and didn’t drink out of the hose when they were young!)

Wars are basically great!

(Plus wars solve everything like the war on terror and the war on drugs – bang!  Both done and dusted and pouring in enough money and lives gets it done….  innovation, talking and compromise are for the weak!)

I propose we have a war to unite the Riverland and settle once and for all which town is better and more to the point who will be the King!   This is not a figurative war but a literal one (please explain the difference to anyone under 25!).

We tell the Government (who do nothing for country people anyway – love that old chestnut as well and unfortunately have experienced it…) that we are going to settle our own affairs.  It will be a ground war with conventional weapons (no chemical weapons or nuclear weapons – do we really want the USA coming in looking for weapons of mass destruction or building walls everywhere…).  Of course we will have to change this silly Riverland Murraylands thing which covers more territory than most countries and just make it a Riverland thing – of course Blanchetown and Waikerie may decide to bug out and become part of the Barossa….

Of course if you don’t want to be involved you can go to Monash or Glossop (or other designated Switzerland towns) and sit the entire thing out – if you weren’t born here you can also leave but if you were born here you must stay and fight – well after all it is your fault either for your activity or inactivity.

There will be an official declaration of War Gala – of course tickets will be $100 to attend and most will complain and boycott it as not only is it too expensive you have to wear long pants and a tie – it will be on the Riverfront and the main aim will not be to declare war but get as drunk as possible.

After the declaration and the afterparty breakfast the following day it will be on for young and old. (Well not really the old – they just cling onto power and prevent anything actually changing…. but the young, well they will just live in the situation we, the old, created… and they better be grateful!

The Katarapko Convention for the Riverland War will be convened regarding the rules of war (what a silly thing to have rules of war!) and will include:

  • All prisoners will be treated humanly and provided with one meal of a Parmy and a beer a day (no innovative food will be served especially anywhere with table service)
  • Op shops will not be ransacked (the Riverland has some of the best Op shops in the country – a national treasure actually!)
  • Riverland Forum on Facebook will be the official news service for the war and report daily on traffic, lost pets, recommendations for services (only if this information is readily available from at least 100 other sources) – in the event that Riverland Forum is compromised by positively reporting the Riverland War then multiple other pages will be created to report – e.g. Riverland Forum without rules etc etc
  • HiViz is not a uniform and anyone caught wearing it (especially when going out for dinner) will be shot as a spy
  • All local Councils will be excluded from the war (unless required as human shields) as their allegiances to any particular town is a bit fuzzy.
  • Individual towns may have a navy which must consist only of jet skis which must at all times be travelling a top speed and apparently going nowhere.
  • Medical assistance must be provided to the injured which may entail a 3 week wait or the conscripting of well meaning doctors who are trapped in the combat zone and have been conscripted to work to death.
  • Any town may surrender at anytime (or fight to the death irrespective of the damage to their town or the Riverland) and will immediately become a suburb of the victor.

I think it will be a great war and provide the Riverland with a new start.

At the end of the war one town will be the victor and declared the Capital of the Riverland.  That town will elect a King, who must actually ahve some qualifications and not just win a popularity contest vote on by their relatives, who will become the benevolent dictator (a proven political system so long as the benevolence continues…).

And we will rebuild!  (the USA will probably want to help but let’s hope the King says no otherwise we will all be back where we started).

The King will have one Council to help him, the businesses will have one Chamber of commerce to help them, the Service Clubs will work together, the farmers will work together irrespective as to what they grow (except if it is cotton or rice – anyway they should have been shot during the war!)

Of course in addition to the mundane tourist attractions we have already we will now have such national icons such as:

  • The Battle of Bookpernong Cemetery (there will be lovely underutilised gardens)
  • The march of Katarapko Creek (it will be an annual pilgrimage to walk the track – which will be poorly marked and unkept)
  • The Mookrook Massacre (war crime trials continuing for years, even decades in the Kangaroo Courts which are a long standing Riverland tradition)
  • The Loxton Siege site (which was self imposed to keep the rabbits out)
  • The New Loveday Interment Camps (currently used for conciensious objectors and people who have lived in the Riverland for 20 or more years but will never really be locals – just to teach them a lesson)
  • There will be one Riverland Show to celebrate the end of the War.

There will be heaps of good stuff to take for granted … and we will do it together.

Of course this is silly – although I did get a lot of pleasure writing it and seeing the looks on peoples faces….

But, aren’t the Riverland towns now and haven’t they been for some time, in a Cold War.  It is like Russia and the USA in the 1960’s and 1970’s – war is not declared but we are in a battle for supremacy, to the detriment of all.

What is Community.  Is it one town, is it the Riverland, is it the Riverland Murraylands – it’s all of it.  It’s realising that punch in the guts behind the lunch shed at recess time didn’t mean all that much then and means less, actually nothing now … and that bloke and/or girl is all grown up now and a part of my Community, perhaps my neighbourhood.

Those kids that have a private war daily in the Riverland by not having the opportunity to be in charge, to lead the way, to innovate, to create…  they take their arsenal of youth, enthusiasm, knowledge and potential to not fight in other peoples wars but to build their communities. (also see post on Old People – click here)

I suppose if the war continues nothing gets better, different people with no loyalty to the Riverland get involved (does the war in Afghanistan ring a bell!!!) and ‘our country’ is ruled by invaders and all the locals, their businesses, their lives become collateral damage in a greater ‘good’. (I just had another good idea for a blog called “The Invasion of the Riverland”…. maybe another day?)

Perhaps the greatest war we have to face is the one within ourselves, to forgive (the greatest act of will and surrender we can undertake) work together and make our home, our neighbourhood, our community, our Riverland a wonderful place for everyone.