I think about loneliness sometimes.

Not my own, as I rarely get lonely. I’m more likely to get lonely in a crowded room where everyone is wasting my time?!

When I think of loneliness, I think often of those who may be.

My Mum Gloria lived 25 years after my Father Lindsay passed away. My Nana Cooke lived for 45 years after my Grandfather, Pa died and she had lost both her bothers in World War 1.

I think of loneliness in our culture not as cruel, although it can be, but almost inevitable for most of us; particularly the elderly.

So, at Christmas perhaps don’t be sucked in by the Santa Clause created by Coca-Cola (Look that one up, it’s TRUE! I’ve even given you a link click here!) and spare a thought for those spending it alone.

So, every year around this time year, I start thinking about people who find this time of year hard. I am sure some, perhaps many in today’s world, feel lost, forgotten and some sit in a quiet house while the rest of the world seems to be celebrating.

And sometimes the loneliest people are standing right beside us and we never notice. I always remember Robin Williams quote about loneliness:

I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up alone. No. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone,”

I’ve learned over the last few years, when your own heart has broken once or twice, you start to see the cracks in others more clearly. I know what it feels like to hope someone will reach out, because you’re to embarrassed to ask, or worse afraid you do, and nobody comes.

Christmas has a way of magnifying whatever we carry inside, as the lights seem brighter, red and green is everywhere and then that moment when the sadness becomes heavier. And that’s why the real spirit of this season matters. Not the gifts or the lights, but because it’s a chance to remind people they aren’t alone in the world.

That I believe, when you ignore all the commercialism and Santa Clause, just perhaps the entire idea behind this Christmas, is hope.

Whether you believe or not, the celebration is about the birth of a bloke who later on in life would give up his life for the rest of us. It is somehow noble when we think about it in the context of war and quote: “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends,”

Just a hint, that is from the bible John 15:13. Bear in mind I’d rather mow a mates lawn than get nailed to a cross: but, you do what you have to do for mates.

Connection doesn’t have to be grand or complicated, it’s a coffee, a phone call, an invitation, or even just asking someone “How you going mate, dont bullshit me? …. And then, the hard part, taking the time to listen to the answer (Not waiting for a gap in the conversation to tell him you’ve got a new TV or you think so-and-so Politician is an idiot!).

I’m not an expert in anything, but, I do know what it’s like to feel broken and to slowly put the pieces back together. I know how powerful it is when someone takes a moment to see you, to check in, to care. I know that loneliness isn’t fixed by speeches or sermons, only by people.

So this Christmas, I’m reminding myself to look around more carefully.
To notice the person who seems a little quiet.
To reach out instead of assuming they’re okay.
To make room at the table, or the shed, or wherever people gather for someone else.

And, today I heard at a lunch with mates, a few saying they were going to ring, or visit someone and that ‘someone’ died before they got to visit them. Think of someone, ring or visit that someone, now! That when you get around to it may never come….

Because none of us get through life alone.
And none of us should have to face Christmas feeling forgotten.

We may not be able to heal every hurt, but we can sure make someone feel seen.
We can remind each other that this world is less cold than it sometimes feels.
And we can offer the simplest Christmas gift of all, connection and our time.

If you’re struggling this year, please know this: You are not invisible, to me, you matter to me, and even in your hardest moments, you are not walking alone.

It’s Jesus’s Birthday, he’d want us to celebrate!