“Be the Change You Want to See in the World” (Mahatma Gandhi)
I have always believed the world should bend to my will – and, guess what, I was wrong.
The above quote from Gandhi is perhaps the greatest basis for a life. That change of course is for the positive, the collective community and the good. It is based on love.
I know that people will say we all have different opinions of what ‘good’ is, but do we. All of our doctrines basically agree on principles of kindness, caring and not hurting our fellow humans.
It is not up to me how the rest of the world behaves. It is up to me how I behave and even think, all the time. How the rest of the world behaves is really none of my business.
I think most would agree we protect the vulnerable and provide for others. But of course, doing this is the responsibility of everyone, me, the community, all of us.
If that doesn’t happen then is becoming a ‘combatant’ to ‘save’ them the change you want to see in the world for the elimination of injustices. Do we get justice through violence and confrontation if it is violence and confrontation we are trying to stop – for me this theory is so flawed and one I used to actually believe in. This answer was not always no for me and now I want to be that change in the world I want to see. So often I have thought the ends (even if that is just my idea of what I think the actual end should look like) justifies the means – again wrong! Possibly for the first time in my life, when I look hard enough, I can see it with clarity that scares me.
As I write this I see a flood of injustices in the world that I thought were my responsibility evaporating. And they evaporated in an instant, because they were mostly only thoughts, and opinions and judgements. I let go of them instantly in an act of will and surrender.
This moment happened to me. It can happen to anyone or they can make it happen. It can be based on pain, enlightenment, love, religion, tragedy or, really anything. I think it can be also based on will. The will for that true act of surrender. for me, I was actually just surrendering to myself.
The surrender part was important to me as I always thought winning was more important than anything. In surrendering you actually surrender to your own stories, judgements and opinions, as well as actual real injustices or unfairness that may have came you way. Perhaps, in that surrender, sometimes, you find forgiveness – the ultimate act of humanity.
Of course, all of those injustices, well most, were against me and I had formed the opinion I had been wronged! I was seeking a change in the world, for what I wanted to see the world behave like, actually, just for me. I was standing on the corner yelling out ‘What about me’ and didn’t have time to notice that there was an ice cream shop behind me and I had a dollar in my pocket. I was yelling at the world, fighting invisible foes and often imaginary enemies.
I have always had a good job, could provide for myself, had a loving family and friends and that is even to today. If I had been so wronged in my life surely these things wouldn’t exist.
I know the change in the world is the change in me. Either by the way I look at it or the way I interact with it. Well, both, because a thought, a word, are intangible unless there is positive action. Thoughts and words and actions surely are who we are. Saying you are generous and never giving is the dialectic of the modern age.
I have come to believe we can become different; better; all of us.
It is not my business to adjudicate and make a template for the world. It is not my business to change you to appease me. It is not my business to change you at all. It is my job to accept the things I can not change. Perhaps this theory is best put by Reinhold Niebuhr in his serenity prayer:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
There is only one person I can truly change, that is me and that is where the effort must be placed.
It is an effort well spent.