Better Brevity….

I am verbose.  I just can’t help it.  My kids tell me, my wife tells me …. and my mates just walk off or hang up, after saying “I’m bored.”

I read my wife my blogs and she just about always says “Yeah, I like it but….”

If you are a smart man you know the ‘but‘ will always undo any good work you have done!

So, taking advice is one of the hardest things in the world to do – especially if it involves changing something that you like to do – for me one of those things is exposing my knowledge to everyone about everything (asked for or not… e.g. this blog), telling stories (usually as pointed out again by my wife, having only a slight resemblance to actual events), ‘helping’ people by telling them what to do (see above… I hate this as well!) and writing pages of what I believe are profound words never before experienced by my hungry for knowledge and appreciative readers….. (?!)

My wife says these things are all okay, as with all things men do, requiring modification at their wife’s ‘suggestion‘ so that the man she never wanted to change when she married him, changes to the way he will find his life the happiest – I hate ‘happy wife, happy life’ but how true is it!

For me, at the moment that is brevity.

Making the verbose brief.  The profound short.  Stories to the point and unexaggerated – most are good in original form anyway.  ….. and a phrase in any marriage listen to often by the men, but never to be uttered – ‘get to the point!’

It’s happening now – I am being verbose in my brevity.

So, my posts will be shorter.  Like this one.

Better All Tech Marine – Renmark

Blatant Advertisement!

I hate shit service and most of life when you look at it, involves various degrees of shit service.  (I am writing another post called “Better with Bullshit ” about all the unbelievable things happening in our world – some of which is that ‘service’ in all forms is a thing of the past – yet we all just tolerate it….  I am not publishing that today because I just wanted to write something positive!)

This is a blatant advertisement for a local business here in the Riverland at Renmark because they know about customer service – All Tech Marine Services.

There is a back story to this and that is my little boat ‘el deso’ – I semi inherited this boat from my old mate Des when he shuffled from this mortal coil a few years ago (read about Des in my post “Better with Des Steele, my friend“).  It is not a big boat, or a great boat, or a fast boat or in fact a particularly pretty boat, but it is a boat that Des used to ‘take on holidays’ with our mate Puk (we always said that he took it on holidays because they used to tow it to various locations and decide that each day was better spent filled with ‘a fair component of fuck all’ as opposed to all the trouble of boating and fishing – gotta love that philosophy!).

So, one thing about ‘el deso’ is that it is all about the sentiment.  Which of course makes you vulnerable to spending money out of that sentiment instead of out of any thought of sensibility and practicality….

Now ‘el deso’ is a bit old.  I think around a 1978 Rover hull and until recently the loudest pre-mix 2 stroke Mariner motor on the market – I think about the same vintage, or even older than the hull.  All Tech Marine had managed to salvage the motor once buy actually making a part for the motor when they couldn’t source it anywhere in Australia – and even on that occasion came in under the price they quoted me.

 

So we get to the last few weeks.  The motor again had a ‘few glitches’ and parts were just not available.  I spoke to the guys at All Tech Marine and set a budget and asked if they could source a motor suitable for good old ‘el deso’….  a week or so later (with a few updates per phone during that period) Paul contacted me – almost as excited as me!  …. he had found a motor, had to get it shipped here and managed to do a deal with a mate… etc etc…. it was a long story and involved his personal commitment to getting the job done in budget: actually it was a pretty cool story involving his contacts for my benefit….

New motor, new Bimni (fitted and better and cheaper than all the others I had been looking at on the internet….)…. and the motor, fitted, with new controls and even for the first time a few gauges in the dash which told me what was actually happening back there!

So, why the big deal about getting service that you expect.  Because we always expect it but rarely get it!  The team at All Tech Marine felt like mates doing me a favour!

Yeah, I paid.  But, I paid a fair price and more to the point I was happy as a pig in shit with everything.  I could have been taken advantage of over ‘sentiment’ and they knew this, but actually did the opposite and could understand that sometimes ‘important’ has a different meaning…

So ‘el deso’ hit the water again a few days ago – I even took the wife!  …. we were going to go fishing, take it for a trial burn up and down the river…. and then we decided to spend a moment thinking about my old mate Des, being a bit grateful for a business that ‘gets’ that some boats are a little more than water transport… and filled the majority of the day with ‘a fair component of fuck all….’

 

Better Weathering the Storm

I read some time ago that emotions are actually physical reactions, hardwired into us, whether it be genetically or from the reprogramming of our life experience…. I believe this.

Your ‘physical emotion’ then is perceived by your brain and an interpretation made….  this is individual.

If someone is tailgating me – my emotion is anger…. if someone is tailgating my wife – her emotion is nervousness.  Upon our brain interpreting the physical emotion we then create the feedback loop to our body of that interpretation – the body reacts to that, and then we escalate our physical response and the cycle continues.

If you catch your body providing you with an emotion, and you catch your mind making the learned interpretation… maybe it won’t be the same learned interpretation this time.

Maybe that anger at the tailgater can be seen differently…

“Shit, where did he come from.  Is that arsehole close enough.  That prick. I’ll fucking show him…….    Hang on buddy!  A minute ago I was driving to the shops and looking forward to a coffee – what has changed?  The way I am looking at it.  I am not actually angry….  Okay mate, you’re up my arse – for whatever reason, I’m sure its not going to affect my day I was enjoying 1 minute ago.  I’m slowing down, pulling to the side, way you go…. okay, thanks for the finger and mouthing of ‘fuck head’……   now where was I.  Oh, yeah, I think I’ll have a donut with my coffee….”

…. and you beat the body emotion.  It is gone… it is like a magic trick we were never taught and never knew how the rabbit got into the hat and suddenly found out.  It can’t be that easy – but it is.  It is will, and surrender – the will to do it and the surrender of a grievance whether real or imagined.  ….. and like magic I am on my way to a coffee and donut and looking forward to another stamp on my coffee card.

Sometimes we all feel to much – our bodies feel too much about too little and our mind get it wrong.

I wrote a little think to myself the other day about anxiety and depression….

You feel too much…

You appreciate your life too much…

You love too much…

You love the things and people in your life too much….

You actually feel too much about being alive….

It overwhelms you: life.

…. and in doing so;

You become overwhelmed and not overjoyed;

You think you are wrong in it;

Wrong for it;

It is you who is wrong and not worthy of this wonder.

And this, these thoughts,
Stop you from moving past the overwhelming into the joy of it all.

You have to weather this avalanche of emotion,
connection..
concern..
involvement…
and insight…
to peacefulness.

Through to peacefulness,
Through the moment.

How?
Through meditation – but, if that doesn’t come to you,
Through taking each moment in the moment without reaction;  weathering the storm without resistance,
Not tightening the sails against the wind or fighting the rudder – but running with it.

Run with the wind,
Surf down the face of the waves,
Breach the breaks,
and appreciate the troughs.

Why?
Because the storm will pass.
You will forget the storm.
The storm will never have happened except within yourself.
It was a dream you created…
… and when the calm comes;
… when the peacefulness engulfs you.

The anxiety never was; the depression imaginary.

Better at “Playing for Keeps” – TV Bullshit

Sorry this is not a post about anything profound like actually ‘playing for keeps!”

It is me getting sucked into the world created by television and the media (the Merchants of Misery – by the way I will keep using this term until it is accepted into the Australian Webster dictionary as the alternative name for the media….).

The other day I accidentally watched the news, and went mental – then today I accidentally watched and advertisement ….. I am so dumb!!!

I saw the advertisement for a new TV series ‘Playing for Keeps’ about to premier on Channel 10 – of fuck, I just realised this entire blog will now be considered another advertisement for the show!!!

Apparently the series is about WAGS – wives and girlfriends of AFL football players – I hate the fact that they even have their own acronym!  Why? Why? Why? I ask are they so important, or important enough to have their own TV series… even imaginary as it is.

Yes, I know we will all be entertained and wonder at the bitchiness of the characters and even be able to name them and discuss their interactions and relationships by the end episode one…. but, why.

Why?  Because this is the world the media wants you to wish you had.  this is the life that is supposed to be normal and sought after.  Being rich, being famous, being glamorous, being in the lime light….  if you are not this and not wanting to be this, you are not striving for the right things.  this is just so much fucking bullshit it makes me sick.

It is none of us, most of us will never be it, and those that do are living the lie that was created so that we could all want it too.

Are we that stupid to think that any of this matters.  Are the WAGS as important as the players – are the players even important – is the game even important.

Don’t get me wrong here, I love the footy – it is the great Australian game and my wife and I sit down to watch it… ( admittedly she is actually a greater fan than me – she does barrack for Port Power so need I say any more…!) and we even go to the games when we can – it is great entertainment…. nobody dies (only occasionally and that is a little sad… and dare I say unlucky!)…  the world is not changed by the outcome of a game of footy – and the world is most definitely not changed by what some WAG wears on the red carpet – why do we even have that – why do you watch it?

So, “Playing for Keeps’ does have some truth in its title.  It is getting us all to put all our hopes and dreams into things that will define our futures, that is playing for keeps, but it is all lost in a fantasy that has been sold, reinforced, made the most desirable thing, which are not the things that matter….  you are the medias puppet in your desires.

Plus, think for a moment those that really do play for keeps – our soldiers, our emergency service members – not some fucking footballers ex-groupie now wife! (PS:  I am sure there are some wonderful ‘WAGS’ out there who fully support their partners and create wonderful families and lives and contribute to the community – bet they are not depicted in this series!)

Yes, I watch TV – yes, I get sucked into Survivor, The Bachelor etc etc etc……

But, I know it is not true.  I know my life, my hopes, my dreams, my desires must be more than a moment of fame, recognition, glamour, possessions and bad relationships in a fake world.

I haven’t mentioned in my last couple of posts this is all about my quest to be a ‘better man’ – it is a hard task as I get pissed off about so many things.

Perhaps my ‘playing for keeps’ is knowing that you don’t get reruns, a take 2, or often a second chance – with that knowledge I know that I wont waste a minute on wanting something, watching something, or believing that something is good or bad because someone else tells me so – especially when they are trying to sell me something at the same time.

NO SALE sorry.

(PS: Apologies for the typos, spelling mistakes and sentences that don’t make sense – I wrote this in a frenzy and then realised I’d rather be in the shed doing shit so just pressed ‘post this shit’ – it’s a special button I have on my computer!)

Better at Achieving

What do you want to be when you grow up?

What a stupid question to ask a 13 year old in their first year of high school – what a stupid question to ask a 17 year old just before they decide what University course they will take to shape the rest of their life.

I think I have spoke before about a question I ask my friends – all around my age (50s) – when I say if money wasn’t a problem and you couldn’t fail “What would you do?”  (I always say I would like to be an astronaut;  but, if I want to be realistic in this unrealistic question I discount that one – I choose my passion….)….  do you know the vast majority of my friends say “I don’t know?”   …… how sad.

Surely we all want to achieve and go about each day doing that – the problem is that we don’t know what it is that we want to achieve.

I suppose that’s why I think most of you are shit.  That’s why I think politicians, the Merchants of Misery (the Media), the retailers, the wholesalers, the farmers, the importers and exporters are all working towards stopping me from achieving what I want to do, what I want to be…. they are just all trying to fuck me up and are just getting in my way.

Then, not long ago actually (and possibly 45 years too late…)  I realised that I was the one that was shit – no-one was making me feel shit, I was choosing to feel shit.  No-one was getting in my way – I was the only one getting in my way.

I wasn’t achieving because I wasn’t, I just wasn’t;  I was to busy blaming everyone else for all the things I wasn’t doing.  The thing is that achieving is not getting a better job, a promotion, a new car, TV or house – all those things are transient, they all get old, they all break down or the new one comes out and we can’t afford that one either.

Just to let you know, you will never be happy with anything you own because something bigger and better will always come out tomorrow… you are chasing a happiness that will forever elude you into the future.

You also won’t be able to find happiness because like the new car, the newer car, and the car that hasn’t bee invented yet…. happiness is an infinite goal.

How do most people answer the question “If you could have anything, what would it be?”   Most people will answer “To be happy.”  It is the answer without meaning.  It has no meaning like all Miss Universe contestants wanting world peace.  Because when you are happy, which is an undefinable state of being, surely you would only then want to be happier, or more happy, or the happiest!  What is the limit on happiness.  Happiness is a futuristic myth.  Happiness is already here – just like achievement you just aren’t doing it.

But, if you are trying to achieve things while everybody is stopping you, with the ultimate goal of being happy – isn’t that just an impossible hope.

Wow, how pessimistic – the best part is in the end, you die!

But, what if it is not about stuff, or getting ahead, or getting that car, house… and following the dream of ultimately being happier.  What if being happy is a lot like love.  Most of us have been (some still are!) in love.  Can you identify the moment you fell in love – not the first time you said it, but the moment that, even discounting that initial ‘love at first sight’ myth (it’s called lust!), or that 1 week after meeting, or that 1 year after being in a relationship, when being together and liking that person a lot, changed for you into love?  No?  That is because being in love, falling in love, is not what is being sold to by the media.

Love is a series of small moments that change your world;  a look, a kind gesture, a word, a touch – not at 3 am after 15 shooters, but over time.  It is the culmination of connection, the putting of someone before yourself, kindness, understanding, listening and ….. and all the stuff you can’t identify that are really the little things….

Achievement is like that… the little things.  It is ‘eating the elephant’ – how do you do it? One mouthful at a time.  Achievement is what happiness is.  Achievement is not success, or fame or glory, or even recognition.  Achievement is the doing, the act of movement towards realistic goals, tasks, jobs or even completing the mundane with awareness.

I didn’t mow the lawn because I got up late, had a slow breakfast and then it was time to watch the footy….  I got up, enjoyed my breakfast and walked outside and mowed the lawn and then sat down a loved watching the footy – I had achieved and enjoyed.

Achievement is not about doing it all today but, about doing something.  It is about having some goal, some aim, something to do towards making ‘things’ better – it can even be a phone call (especially the one you have been putting off)…  achievement may actually be about not doing things that don’t achieve in the traditional sense;  those beers every night after work, the junk food instead of making a meal, having a smoke break, having an argument about something that doesn’t matter….  achievement is everywhere; you just have to notice… and actually do it.

And what does all this achievement bring? Happiness.  Happiness is achievement – it is doing things that are good for you and even more so for others.

Achievement is like love – you will do a task, reach a goal, help someone, do the hardest task on your list – and at the end of the day, when you have achieved (or at least broke the back of a job) what you set out to do, take a moment… you are a bit tired perhaps, good tired from doing hard things… take a moment and you may find that happiness has crept up on you and you weren’t even looking for it when you where cleaning out the gutters.

Better at Being Confused

I spend most days confused – some of this confusion is no doubt due to the inordinate amount of beer I drink and believe I can dance and sing better than you (and I am willing to prove it!) – but, mostly it is because I don’t understand most things going on in the world.

I once heard a defendant answer a question put to them by a Judge during a trial where the defendant was pointlessly giving evidence in a trial he was destined to lose, when asked could he explain why several witnesses, one who knew him personally had identified him as the perpetrator – to which he replied:     “It’s a mystery to me Your Honour?”

The world is becoming a mystery to me.  Some time ago I was advised by my wife that watching the news on TV was not good for my (and her) peaceful co-existance; as yelling at the TV and saying everything was bullshit was not considered constructive criticism or polite debate – I would eventually yell, this is fucking bullshit, they are this, they are that, etc etc, and storm out and go and drink beer in the shed.

Suddenly it all made sense to me when I hear Denzel Washington being interviewed where he said:

“If you don’t read the newspaper you’re uninformed.  If you do read it, you’re misinformed…. What is the long-term effect of too much information?  One of the effects is the need to be first, not even tell the truth anymore.”

I agree!

So, I made the decision to be uniformed.  Guess what it didn’t change my life one little bit. I started watching Family Feud instead of the news which in addition to stopping me yelling at the TV gave me the realisation that on the big scale of things my family is pretty normal – and also to never trust a survey when you only have 100 people (also never go on the show as they make you dance like a fuckwit in the sound proof booth before your turn in the final round!)

Today I am uninformed. When ever someone tells me something terrible is happening in the world, or this or that politician (or more likely this celebrity) is doing something, or failed to do something or got another payrise to make their annual salary $17 million instead of the poulty $15 million they were getting before being cut from the Mets (whoever the fuck they are?)….  I turn to them with glazed eyes and say “What?”…  they often repeat the diatribe of useless information to which I reply “Want another beer?” and they always say yes and we have a better conversation about surviving the apocalypse, or building a better mouse trap or laugh a fat people playing sport/dancing or just drink our beer and reminisce about our youth when we went through that fantastic ‘purple patch’ from 1988 to 1995 inclusive.

Today I made the mistake of ‘scanning’ the news headlines on a daily email I get from the ABC – I usually delete it after reading the first headline which is about a politician or catholic priest or celebrity or ISIS or the overwhelming crime wave we are currently experiencing…. (I have to ask myself why I don’t just unsubscribe from the email list?)…

This mistake of actually reading all the headlines and then the ultimate cardinal sin (a different one to ex-Archbishop Phil Wilson I might add!) of actually reading a few of the articles – I might add yelling at your phone is not quite the same as yeling at the TV.  So, what did I learn in just todays headlines:

  • The largest criminal organisation on the planet (the Catholic Church) ‘gracefully’ accepted the resignation of a convicted child abuse concealer….  really?!
  • My speedo in my car may not be accurate if I put on different tyres… a headline… really?!
  • Two people who exposed our Government illegally taping another Government over trade deals may face charges – 14 years after it happened…. really and why?!
  • Saving for a house is a ridiculous dream for young Australian…  that’s it, kick ’em when they are down and not only tell them that we fucked the planet but they can’t afford to live on it… our generation has no conscience?!
  • A 16 year old reports on the drought… what are the rest of the Media doing about NSW QLD drought?!
  • Aviation fighters had 20 times normal PFAS in their blood….  I dont even know what that means and didnt read the article as I had 4 times the legal limit of alcohol in my blood from the previous evening session in the shed!
  • Logging kills gliders intensively – intensively; oh look which journalist got a thesaurus for their birthday!
  • Time is running out for people to have babies – and this is new?
  • Hernia mesh patient says….. oh, fuck another modern miricle in medicine becomes a class action (this article also talked about vaginal mesh – I just thought there would be pictures….)….  thank you Dr for saving 10,000 lives but unfortunately we have a class action because…. wait for it, the obese, cigarette smoking patient got an infection… I would hesitate to guess not the first one (see above re vaginal mesh!)
  • ‘Mum Guilt’ as the NZ Prime Minister goes back to work…. I think she is fantastic… but let’s just not talk about that, stereotype her into a ‘multitasking working Mum’ not a leader of a nation – Oh, you have a kid, how nice what about our 10 billion dollar trade deal!
  • Stray dog given participation medal in half-marathon – so, all kids get participation medals for coming eighth at sports day?
  • Koalas starving to death…. not the babies as they eat their own mothers shit; fun fact, just thought I’d share that one!
  • Health service providers have most data breaches – oh, God most people share more on Facebook than are in their medical records – more to the point who the fuck keeps these statistics and why?
  • Why doesn’t the tropical north produce more agriculture – good question which I have never thought about in my life and care less about now than before I read the article – there was hoever a nice picture of a cowboy, I mean cow-person…
  • Trump says….. didn’t read the rest (also applies to any article mentioning a politician)
  • MH370 victim families to continue to fight for answers….  am I the only one who thinks it strange that we accept a commercial airliner disappears and all 239 people on it (of which six are Australians) are presumed dead, somewhere; and we have a report to say we don’t know why it happened and we have stopped looking for it….  Really?
  • ‘Selfie Police’ called to stop… sorry didnt read the rest, had to take a picture of my breakfast.
  • Feel like you’re financially treading water? ….that’s because most of us are – this article was base on a survey by “Melbourne Institute’s study of Household Income and Labour Dynamics” – I stopped reading, surely that’s a joke organisation…. like “Premature Ejaculators Anonymous – PEA” of which I was a member but when I went to my first meeting no-one else was there – I was apparently a day early….
  • Zimbabwe begins counting votes… stopped reading, if you can’t have a straight election in the USA what hope does Zimbabwe have?
  • Man found dead in storage shed wheelie bin went missing in 2001 – couldn’t read it, I had too many jokes, I wheelie did, how long he bin there, he was only found as they put the wrong bin out on recycling day, etc etc
  • Then there were 9 article under the heading ‘Opinion’ – so this is not even news but just what someone thinks about stuff – get a blog!

So, that was my experience with the News today – do I feel misinformed; was I better off uninformed?

I am just confused as I know I actually feel dumber and wasted this time when I could have been watching YouTube videos (my normal breakfast entertainment) about building a rock sieve out of an old tumble dryer ….

 

 

 

 

 

 

My confusion stems from a number of facts – yes, facts:

  1. We live in the most prosperous, safest, healthiest time in ALL human history yet we fear everything…. (this is a statistic fact – look it up!)
  2. We live on a planet where we are all the same species (humans that is…) and are at the top of the food chain, but care more about a new plasma TV than… well just about more than everything else….
  3. We don’t know who to trust or what to believe (I am still reviewing my recent research on the flat Earth Society page – this is very convincing stuff, you should have a read – don’t get me started on the existence of giants!!!!)

So, the upshot is, I like being confused.  Because in being confused I constantly question.

Most of the time the people I question as they expose the ‘facts’ are the ones with the biggest opinion, the biggest bank account and the biggest arse – and they often say I saw it on the News (except the last one as they usually say “No, I’m big boned” as they inhale another pie!)

And, also I wrote this article a couple of days ago and the News headlines have changed – or have they?  I have to sign off now as I am currently stirring up a shit storm on Facebook about the Queensland Drought and people are coming out of the woodwork with their expert opinions – none so far live in Queensland, or are farmers… maybe they just watched the News.

 

Better at Doing Things Tomorrow

I  Was Going to

 

I was going to do it yesterday

And then today came

And now it is tomorrow, and I am old

 

I checked the list again

And it is still there

I was going to do it yesterday

It’s today and I don’t want to

 

I talk about doing it and my friends agree

We will do it tomorrow

And nobody shows up and we put it off to tomorrow

And we walk, and we talk and we wait for tomorrow

And it comes and we talk and we walk

And we say we will do it tomorrow

 

I was going to start today but nobody came and it didn’t look like it needed doing

I can do it tomorrow

I planned for it yesterday and we decided it wasn’t urgent and there was plenty of time

We walked and we talked and now we planned and we decided to do it tomorrow

 

It didn’t matter in the end

Nobody wanted it done, except me

I am old

And it isn’t done

And my friends are gone

 

And I wish I had done it yesterday.

Better at Being a Politically Active Vegan

If you eat meat and don’t vote for (insert who you vote for here ____________ ) then you are wrong…..

Today I was having two discussions on Facebook about veganism and politics – both of which I care little about… however, the supplying of information, unsolicited, from both camps of course encouraged me to be adversarial, research both topics (in the opposite of course) and bait both ‘information’ providers….  why?

Because as always stated politics and religion (and diet) should not be discussed in polite coffee shop and/or dinner party conversation, as this adage I have paraphrased and bastardised sort of goes.  And why is this so.  Because, for me, I don’t care what you think or eat, just don’t preach it to me.

I rambled of a few quotes this morning which I ‘cherry picked’ from a very calculating series of Google searches, all of which started with “the opposite argument to….” – of course I got 1000’s of hits – as well as a very convincing video of the flat earth theory by the ‘Flat Earth Society’ (it looked pretty creditable actually…..?)

It is also very interesting in these sort of debates …. say that with an accent and it can be pronounced from my perspective as “da-baits” ….. because I can listen all day to the ramblings of a true believer (a skilled learned from being dragged to Church every Sunday morning during my childhood) as it gives me time to think about other things…. until their constant drone appears to be punctuated with one word that wears me down and signifies the true sport of antagonising the true believer is about to begin….  that word is “YOU”.

Okay what do I mean.

Simple.

I believe in God – versusYou should believe in God.

Okay, I can listen to your ramblings and have no problem with your beliefs – you can believe in the God Zot, from the planet Zing which requires that you put on a tin foil hat 3 times a day and pray facing the home world – but don’t try and sell it to me.  It is okay to tell me about it, to tell me about YOUR beliefs, so don’t wreck a good and amusing story, or the continued demonstrated perseverance of childhood conditioning, or peer pressure, or ideological blindness, that has helped you form your belief; but don’t, never, ever, ever, say “You should….”  for that sort of missionary position (sorry had to use that phrase) is the beginning of ‘da-bait’ and you cast it, so lets have some fun – well for me anyway.

All this is a bit cruel – for you and me – mainly me; as it doesn’t make me a better man….

I, yes I, will try and do better.  I will pray to ZOT for guidance.

PS:  Apologies there were no pictures on this post, but I wanted to have a post that didn’t have pictures to see how many would take the time to read to the end and then share this post with others……. hang on, I think I have seen this written somewhere before, I didn’t share it and didn’t receive any good luck (but, I am currently negotiating with a very nice man who through a Government accounting error has received millions of dollars to……but, that is another story for another post) –  I will pray to ZOT, who works in mysterious ways.

Better a Whistle Blower than the 80%

Six Percenters now rule

A while ago I wrote about “6 Percenters” (click to read post here) which basically are the 6 percent of people who are difficult to deal with…. unfortunately they drag another 14% of weak people along with them, which creates the situation of the 20% of people who take up 80% of your time….

So, most of the time only 20% of the world are causing difficulties.

I’ve been thinking…. (Which is also another challenging situation as my mind is a very dangerous place and I never go there alone….!)

What I was thinking is surely,  if only 20% of people in any situation, or more importantly organisations, are ‘troublesome’ then any whistle blower who steps forward would surely be supported by the majority; that is the 80%.

I don’t think this is the case – perhaps it never really was…?

It’s all about me; and I’m having a guess

My particular observations have obviously been about the Police… and I must say they are my personal opinions and based on …. well what I just reckon from 38 years of experience and being right in the middle of it.  There is also a disclaimer that mostly this is not about individuals but more about a ‘culture” – plus it may also relate to a myriad of other organisations and groups where culture is everything, so although I base this on the Police, in looking around your office, or organisation, you may be thinking, hey, this is happening here too.

What am I talking about?  culture, whistle blowers, the percentages…..?

What I am talking about is that I don’t think in organisations that have a long history and intrenched culture that they themselves, and especially the individuals within the organisation, even know they are part of a different percentage; most think, most of the time, that they are part of the majority.  That is the majority of people who are NOT 6 percenters or their followers – which is about 80% of ‘us’.

In ‘culture orientated’ organisations and groups the ‘6 percenters’ have often ruled for years.  They have dragged the initial 14% and then progressively over the generations this percentage has grown to much, much, much more.

I think in some modern organisations, and from my experience, the Police, have allowed the ‘6 percenter mentality’ to become the culture.  The followers are not a group of weak people looking for a leader but are now the majority.  The 6 percenters, are now not 6 percenters, but the leaders, the influencers, the cultural caretakers, and have been for some generations.  They have progressively recruited in excess of the 14% of weak and easily led people and have been building this number over generations.   So, what was 14%, is now more like 74% – which is 80% of the organisation.

Bullshit, I hear you cry as one. Well, I actually hear 80% of you cry this, as you are now the majority.  The worse part of this sentence is, I think until I retired, I was well and truely in that group, if not one of its leaders – hence I think I speak from experience.

Bullshit, again I hear you cry.

Lies, more lies, and statistics

Well, lets do the only more confusing thing I can think of doing than writing the above algorithm of misaligned sentences – which is quote a few statistics.

I have a joke about statistics which my wife hates which goes like – “Three statisticians go hunting deer with bows and arrows;  they see a deer and the first fires his arrow and it goes a metre in front of the deer; the second fires his arrow and it goes a metre behind the deer; the third fires his arrow and it goes a metre over the deer; all three statisticians look at each other and chant in unison “We got him, we got him!”

So what are my stats?  They are taken from the independent review into “Sex Discrimination, Sexual Harassment and Predatory Behaviour in South Australia  Police” report published November 2016 by the South Australian Equal Opportunity Commission (click here for a link to the entire report).

Lets start off with a few doosies:

  • 45% had personally experienced sex discrimination while employed by SAPOL
  • 61% agreed it was very difficult to work part time and have a career in SAPOL
  • only 21% who had experienced sexual discrimination had reported it
  • half of those who reported it said they experienced victimisation, including being ostracised, ignored, bullied, or denied training or promotion

So, about 1 in 5 are reporting – what a coincidence, about 20% by my maths…..

I am not saying the above ‘bush maths and anthropology’ has any scientific basis, but, usually if something doesn’t seem right it isn’t – if you dont believe me ask a few fraud victims!  Plus, intuition saved many a cop from opening the wrong door or walking around the wrong corner – sometimes the map doesn’t match the ground – therefore the map is wrong!

Again, so?  What does this all mean.  I think it mainly means that it doesn’t matter how many new policies, working groups, task forces, media campaigns or big glossy posters  around the office – if the culture stays the same, the 80% go on merrily thinking everything is alright – oblivious to the reality.

What does this mean if you are a whistleblower

It basically means you are in the new 20% and you are fucked.  I am constantly searching the internet for a ‘good news’ whistle blower story – let me know if you find one.

Just look above at the SAPOL report and the things you face as a whistle blower – victimisation, bullying, etc etc – and these are probably just the identifiable consequences. What about the individual consequences?

I recently asked a few serving members what was the general discussion going on about the place in relation to the land mark decision against SAPOL in relation to discrimination (read full article here) and it appears that the 80% rule supreme – read the article and then read the below paraphrased responses heard around the SAPOL workplace:

“She was always a bit weak.”

“She was a shit cop anyhow.” “What a whinger.”

“We’re better off without her.”

The above were relayed to me via various sources and when I asked if anybody spoke up the answer was no – the 80% rule – the culture remains the same irrespective of posters and task forces and the Commissioner, the CEO, the boss or even the 20% trying to lead the way.

Who protects the protectors from themselves?

Better at Birthdays (10227)

Well, here we are again – another birthday.

Last year I wrote a post called something similar, except it was 20454 days in the brackets (link to that post here).  That was the number of days I had lived to that point.  The number in the brackets of this post is the days I have left (if I live to be 85).

This is an important number for me.  Yes, I may be obsessed with death – but, after all, it is the one inevitability; you can’t count taxes anymore considering most multinational companies don’t pay any!   Funnily I’ve written so many times about ‘The Merchants of Misery’ and bullshit politicians who make us buy, make us spend and then blame us that paying taxes now is almost like paying for shit entertainment and being unable to get a refund…!!!

Death is a sad and depressing thing to think about on your Birthday – probably, but, it reminds me that the days we do have are limited.  We spend most of our days not thinking it could be our last, or that we only have a few left – we spend most of our days living as if we are going to live forever.  I personally have never met any immortals, or for that matter heard of any existing, so, the grim reaper will eventually come knocking for all of us….

It doesn’t mean that our life is pointless – just like it doesn’t mean our life has to be important to be well lived – actually for most of us our lives are not very important to the big scheme of things other than we are a small grain of sand in an endless beach of sand, which is somehow connected to all the other grains of sand, even if it is just for the briefest of moments.

I can’t wait for tomorrow when my Birthday will be over and I can get on with waiting for the next one….  What the…!!!!   Really.  Is waiting and hoping for tomorrow more important than living this day, this hour, this second.  Then again I don’t want today to end because there is nothing really to look forward to tomorrow, just work and the normal routine, but, I am excited about my holiday later in the year…. What the….!!!!  Anyway, I am glad that I got through yesterday and now I just need a day to get over it and regret just about everything I did, or didn’t do which would have made it better; if there was just a time machine, I would…  What the….. fuck!!!!

Yesterday and/or tomorrow are our obsessions!

Regretting and anticipating are time travellers – in our heads.

Isn’t my counting down the days to my death just a little macarbe and a little sad?  Probably; unless, it is used as a guidepost to the realisation that each of those days can be precious, the best day of my life, the last day… so, therefore I have to make sure I don’t waste it!

Two things about those days:

  1. Time is an illusion created by us with clocks and calendars – in reality there is only NOW.  Yesterday, the last hour, the last second, are gone and can’t be changed; tomorrow is imaginary, an illusion created in our minds about what might happen.
  2. Time, on the other hand is the only commodity that we can’t trade, yet it is the only real commodity that we have.  We get an uncertain amount, and it runs out when we least expect it.

Let’s just change our ‘time commodity’ counting system – I’ll call seconds dollars.  You are given a certain amount of dollars and told to go and shop and buy anything you like.  The trick is you never know when the dollars on your shopping spree are going to run out.  Now some of us are going to grab as much as we can, irrespective of what it is, if we need it, or actually if we really even want it, because we are just grabbing before the money runs out.  Some of us are going to casually walk around the isles, picking the best, experiencing the joy of the shop without the pressure of having to earn what we spend; and then there are the ones that are never really aware of what dollars are but they buy stuff anyway which they didn’t know why they bought it other than it was what they were told to buy to make them happy…. they they die, just like all the rest.

So, most of us complain that we are cash poor, never enough money – we’ll work harder and make more… and the miracle of the corruption of capitalism, is you can….  and you can buy more stuff…. and your stuff will make you happy?

But, not so your ‘time dollars’ – there are only so many and you can’t work harder, refinance or get a loan… or even borrow a few dollars from a mate…

There are only so many and you don’t know how many… and then you die, and the kids fight over your stuff that made you happy.

Happy Birthday – it was now, which was a few days ago…. and that moment will never come again, that day will never come again.  Thanks for all the Facebook messages, I haven’t read them yet, I appreciate that Facebook reminded you (as most of you have never wished me Happy Birthday before Facebook) and you had to press a few keys, on the day of my Birthday – thanks.  But, the phone calls I received, and the two cards that people posted to me kept me busy all day, in the now, in the real world, spending my time dollars wisely – I only have 10221 left.

PS:  On your Birthday, check the mail box – then you will know I spent a dollar for you…